101 Lies Men Tell Women

1. I'll call you.
2. I love you.
3. You're the only one.
4. I've never felt this way about anyone else.
5. I've got to work late at the office tonight.
6. That's the best sex I've ever had.
7. You've got the most beautiful eyes
8. No, I'm not married
9. Sorry. I must have left my wallet and credit cards at home.
10. You just have to believe me when I tell you nothing's wrong.
11. I'm ready to make a commitment.
12. Except for a beer or two, I never drink.
13. My wife and I haven't had sex in years.
14. We'll get married as soon as I ...
15. I'll be home in twenty minutes.
16. It's not that I don't care - I just have to spend more time with my kids.
17. I've only slept with maybe ten women in my entire life.
18. I've been celibate since we broke up.
19. I could never lie to you.
20. I can still last all night
21. I always use a condom
22. I can help you get a great job in my company (field)
23. I haven't seen her since she and I broke up
24. I tested HIV negative
25. I haven't seen her since she and I broke up
26. The only sexual fantasies I have are about you
27. No, I don't think your thighs (stomach, breasts, hips, etc.) are too big
28. I'm too tired
29. How could you think I'd be interested in her? She's your best friend
30. When it comes to oral sex, I'm the best
31. I've never had any trouble keeping an erection before
32. It's you and me, babe - we'll make love all over Europe
33. I'd never do anything to hurt you.
34. I want to grow old with you
35. Believe me, my wife and I live very separate lives
36. Our having sex won't change a thing between us
37. Don't worry, I've had a vasectomy
38. I'm going to leave my wife
39. You're nothing at all like my mother
40. Your being a different religion doesn't matter to me
41. It doesn't bother me that you make more money than I do
42. Even without sex, we'd still be friends
43. I think older women are the most exciting
44. I'm considered one of the top people (in my field, in the company)
45. What attracts me to you is your mind
46. We'll split all the child care and household chores fifty-fifty
47. Of course I don't mind that you didn't come
48. I've never had an affair before
49. You're the only one who understands me
50. I've never been in therapy
51. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me
52. No, I'm not seeing anyone else
53. I haven't thought about her (old girlfriend) in years
54. How many times do I have to tell you I'm not having an affair?
55. Your career is as important as mine
56. I promise you that I'll change
57. I want us to remain close friends always
58. My wife and I have an understanding
59. You're wonderful; you deserve someone better than me
60. I don't masturbate
61. Let's be friends first 
62. When you walked through that door, I knew it was the real thing 
63. I'd like you even if you were a man 
64. It's okay to be good looking, but looks just don't mean that much to me 
65. The difference between us will bring us even closer 
66. I spend everything I earn on you and the kids 
67. No, I never said that 
68. You make me feel like a kid again 
69. I'm going out with the boys (to the gym, to the office) 
70. I'll move wherever you want 
71. Of course I'm not bored with you 
72. As soon as I finish this project (get a promotion, a raise, make partner), we'll...... 
73. You've got more sex appeal in your little toe than my wife's got in her whole body 
74. It wouldn't be you and me anymore if I used one of those 
75. Let's pool our assets - whatever is mine is yours 
76. I still find you just as attractive as the day I met you 
77. Divorce is the farthest thing from my mind 
78. Sure, I'll watch the kids 
79. It's not just the sex I want, it's being close to you. 
80. We'll be spending a lot of time together when I retire 
81. You're the only reason I've worked so hard 
82. If I didn't have all this work, you know I'd go with you and the kids to your mom's 
83. No one's ever turned me on like you do 
84. My boss says there's nothing to worry about 
85. I'll never tell 
86. Relax, she's just a friend 
87. This is just a temporary separation until we get things worked out 
88. Your hair (dress, outfit) looks fantastic 
89. It was just sex - it didn't mean a thing 
90. Of course I'm listening to what you're saying 
91. Come on in and we'll just cuddle for a few minutes 
92. No, I don't think you're fat 
93. You're the woman I should have married 
94. I'm going to be focusing on my wokr for a while now. 
95. I guarantee you, I'm not the father 
96. Your having kids has nothing to do with my not wanting to get married 
97. I'm not ashamed of the way you talk (look, act, etc.) 
98. It's nothing personal; I just don't like sharing my living space with someone
99. This time I'm really serious 
100. Honestly, honey, it's just for the guys - none of the wives go to the conference
101. I'll always take care of you.