Showing posts with label Murphy's Laws. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Murphy's Laws. Show all posts
Laws on Girls
- If u think a girl is beautiful, she'll always have a boyfriend to confirm that
- The nicer she is...the quicker u will be dumped!!!!!
- The more the makeup, worse the looks...
- "99% of the girls in this world are beautiful. Remaining 1% would always be in your company."............ .....100% true
- The guy standing next to a beautiful girl can never be her brother.
- If by any chance the girl you like, likes you too, she will let you know in about 10 years from now, when you are committed...
- The more you ignore a girl, the more she'll want to be friends with you.
- Theory of relativity.. ....
- more u run towards a hot chick....the more she goes away from u...
- Rule 1: Even if you got her out alone... just when you are about to let her know about your feelings...she will spot a long lost friend (I guess from Kumbh ka Mela)
- Corollary to rule 1: The more desperate you are to tell your feelings to a girl on a private chat, the more probability the long lost friend she discovered is a handsome superman, who beats you in everything 9:1
- Axiom 1: The more dedicated you are to the girl, the longer it takes before things work out, but ultimately it will (some smile for the guys)
- The day the chick you really like comes and speaks to you will be the day when-
- You are dressed badly
- You forgot to brush your teeth for the first time in your life
- Have a bad hair day
- All the good girls are either nuns or married .the rest go around with u and ruin Ur money, health and leave u a total wreck.
- The more seriously u like a girl...the more seriously her dad will hate u
- The love you shower a girl with is directly proportional to the number of bullets her dad will be showering at you.
Murphy's Real Laws
- Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
- It is hard to understand how a cemetery can raise its burial costs and blame it on the higher cost of living.
- Just remember if it wasn't for gravity, we'd all fall off.
- The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
- It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.
- You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
- Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world population.
- If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
- The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
- Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking.
- Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
- The shinbone is a device for finding furniture.
- A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
- It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
- Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
- I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
- I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
- When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Laws Of Life!
1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to use the bathroom.
2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, or screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
5. Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
11. Law of the Theater and Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are farthest from the aisle arrive last, and they are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, drink, or the bathroom and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. Those in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies, and stay to the bitter end of the performance and beyond. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
12. The Starbucks Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something that will last until the coffee is cold.
13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.
18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well and make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, or screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
5. Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
11. Law of the Theater and Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are farthest from the aisle arrive last, and they are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, drink, or the bathroom and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. Those in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies, and stay to the bitter end of the performance and beyond. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
12. The Starbucks Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something that will last until the coffee is cold.
13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.
18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well and make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
Murphy's laws of flying
1. No flight ever leaves on time unless you are running late and need the normal delay in order to make it on time.
2. If you ARE running late for a flight, it will depart from the farthest gate within the terminal.
3. If you arrive very early for a flight, it will inevitably be delayed.
4. Flights never leave from Gate #1 at any terminal in the world.
5. If you must work on your flight, you will experience turbulence as soon as you touch pen to paper.
6. If you are assigned a middle seat, you can determine who has the seats on the aisle and the window while you are still in the boarding area. Just look for the two largest passengers.
7. Only passengers seated in window seats ever have to get up to go to the lavatory.
8. The crying baby on board your flight is always seated next to you.
9. The best-looking woman on your flight is never seated next to you.
10. The less carry-on luggage space available on an aircraft, the more carry-on luggage passengers will bring aboard.
2. If you ARE running late for a flight, it will depart from the farthest gate within the terminal.
3. If you arrive very early for a flight, it will inevitably be delayed.
4. Flights never leave from Gate #1 at any terminal in the world.
5. If you must work on your flight, you will experience turbulence as soon as you touch pen to paper.
6. If you are assigned a middle seat, you can determine who has the seats on the aisle and the window while you are still in the boarding area. Just look for the two largest passengers.
7. Only passengers seated in window seats ever have to get up to go to the lavatory.
8. The crying baby on board your flight is always seated next to you.
9. The best-looking woman on your flight is never seated next to you.
10. The less carry-on luggage space available on an aircraft, the more carry-on luggage passengers will bring aboard.
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