A well-known motivational speakergathering the entire crowd's attention,
said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who
wasn't my wife !"
The crowd was shocked!!!!!!!!
He followed up by saying, "That woman was my mother!"
The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech, which was well received.
About a week later, one of the top managers who had the training
decided to use that joke at his house. He tried to rehearse the joke in
his head. It was a bit foggy to him.
He said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!"
Naturally, his wife was shell shocked, murmuring.
After standing there for almost 10 seconds trying to recall the second
half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out "... and I can't
remember who she was !"
As expected, he got thrashing of his life time....
Moral of the story: Don't copy if you can't paste
Showing posts with label Management Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Management Jokes. Show all posts
The Corporate language !!
"We will do it" means " You will do it"
"You have done a great job" means "More work to be given to you"
"We are working on it" means "We have not yet started working on the same"
"Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means "Its not getting done... At least not tomorrow !".
"After discussion we will decide - I am very open to views" means "I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"
"There was a slight miscommunication" means "We had actually lied"
"Lets call a meeting and discuss" means "I have no time now, will talk later"
"We can always do it" means "We actually cannot do the same on time"
"We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline" means "The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."
"We had slight differences of opinion" means "We had actually fought"
"Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you" means "Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"
"You should have told me earlier" means "Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"
"We need to find out the real reason" means "Well I will tell you where your fault is"
"We are a team" means "I am not the only one to be blamed"
"That's actually a good question" means "I do not know anything about it"
"All the Best" means " You are in trouble"
"You have done a great job" means "More work to be given to you"
"We are working on it" means "We have not yet started working on the same"
"Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means "Its not getting done... At least not tomorrow !".
"After discussion we will decide - I am very open to views" means "I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"
"There was a slight miscommunication" means "We had actually lied"
"Lets call a meeting and discuss" means "I have no time now, will talk later"
"We can always do it" means "We actually cannot do the same on time"
"We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline" means "The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."
"We had slight differences of opinion" means "We had actually fought"
"Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you" means "Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"
"You should have told me earlier" means "Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"
"We need to find out the real reason" means "Well I will tell you where your fault is"
"We are a team" means "I am not the only one to be blamed"
"That's actually a good question" means "I do not know anything about it"
"All the Best" means " You are in trouble"
Pappu & Ravan! - A Management Lesson
Once Pappu started praying to Ravan and after 1 year of deep meditation Ravan was pleased and appeared in front of Pappu and decided to give him 3 vardans (wishes).
RAVAN: Say vatsa! What you want?
PAPPU: I want 100 vardans
RAVAN: But I can give you only 3 vardans
PAPPU: But I want 100 vardans.
RAVAN: No child that’s not possible.
PAPPU: No I want 100 vardans only
RAVAN: No I can give you only 3. If you want then take or else I am going.
PAPPU: Ok! But whatever I will ask, you will definitely give me?
RAVAN: Sure it's promise from Rakshas Raj Ravana.
PAPPU: 1st vardan, convert your GADA on shoulder to wooden bamboo stick.
RAVAN: "Tathastu" and his gada turns into a stick.
PAPPU: 2nd Vardan, put that stick in your ass..!!
RAVAN: (confused but ......) "Thathastu" and in great pain asks Pappu to ask for the third vardan .... ASAP ...
PAPPU: Now are you giving me rest 97 vardans or should I convert that stick back to GADA ?
Moral of the story: Management will not yield to your simple request until u can give pain in their ass.
RAVAN: Say vatsa! What you want?
PAPPU: I want 100 vardans
RAVAN: But I can give you only 3 vardans
PAPPU: But I want 100 vardans.
RAVAN: No child that’s not possible.
PAPPU: No I want 100 vardans only
RAVAN: No I can give you only 3. If you want then take or else I am going.
PAPPU: Ok! But whatever I will ask, you will definitely give me?
RAVAN: Sure it's promise from Rakshas Raj Ravana.
PAPPU: 1st vardan, convert your GADA on shoulder to wooden bamboo stick.
RAVAN: "Tathastu" and his gada turns into a stick.
PAPPU: 2nd Vardan, put that stick in your ass..!!
RAVAN: (confused but ......) "Thathastu" and in great pain asks Pappu to ask for the third vardan .... ASAP ...
PAPPU: Now are you giving me rest 97 vardans or should I convert that stick back to GADA ?
Moral of the story: Management will not yield to your simple request until u can give pain in their ass.
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