Celebrity wisdom

"Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life."
- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
- Mariah Carey

"I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."
- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
- Danny Ozark, Philadelphia Phillies manager

"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
- Al Gore, former Vice President of the United States (and inventor of the internet)

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
- Dan Quayle

"We’ve got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
- Lee Iacocca

"We don’t necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people." - Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor

"If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure."
- Bill Clinton, Former President of the United States

"Traditionally, most of Australia’s imports come from overseas."
- Keppel Enderbery

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
- Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there’ll be a record."
- Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman