In the flatlands of Milpitas, Mr. Stewart's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery.
To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lantern, instructing, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing."
Soon, a wee baby boy was brought into the world.
"Whoa there, Scotty!" said the doctor. "Don't be in a rush to put the lantern down. I think there's yet another wee one to come."
Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered another little baby.
"No, no, don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern, young man. It seems there's yet another one besides!" exclaimed the doctor.
The new father scratched his head in bewilderment and asked the doctor, "Do ye think it's the light that's attractin' them?"
Two Black Balls
One day at school a teacher said, "Class I'm going to give you a question every Friday. If you answer it correctly, then you do not have to come to school on the following Monday."
The first Friday arrived and the teacher asked, "How many stars are in the sky?"
No one was able to answer.
The next Friday the teacher asked, "How many fish are in the sea?"
Again, no one was able to answer.
Then one student had an idea. He got two big bouncy balls and painted them black. On Friday, before she asked the question, he threw the balls in one of the aisles. The teacher asked, "Who's the guy with the big black balls?"
The kid yelled, "Bill Cosby! See ya next Tuesday!"
The first Friday arrived and the teacher asked, "How many stars are in the sky?"
No one was able to answer.
The next Friday the teacher asked, "How many fish are in the sea?"
Again, no one was able to answer.
Then one student had an idea. He got two big bouncy balls and painted them black. On Friday, before she asked the question, he threw the balls in one of the aisles. The teacher asked, "Who's the guy with the big black balls?"
The kid yelled, "Bill Cosby! See ya next Tuesday!"
A Young Priest
There was a young priest who was having trouble both writing and delivering his sermons. So he asked his Bishop for help. The wise old Bishop said, "Well you might start with something to attract and hold their attention, such as, 'Last night I was in the warm embrace of a good woman,' that will get their attention then you go on to talk about how warm and accepting she was and at the end reveal she was your mother; that is great for sermons about family love."
The young priest decided to take the advice. The following Sunday he got into the pulpit and said, "Last night I was in the arms a hot woman," he paused. The congregation was totally transfixed; no lack of attention now. But he had forgotten what come next, so he stumbled on about how great she was and how good she made him feel. Then he thought of a way to get out of his problem. He said in conclusion, "Well I may not remember who she was, but she was recommended by the Bishop!"
The young priest decided to take the advice. The following Sunday he got into the pulpit and said, "Last night I was in the arms a hot woman," he paused. The congregation was totally transfixed; no lack of attention now. But he had forgotten what come next, so he stumbled on about how great she was and how good she made him feel. Then he thought of a way to get out of his problem. He said in conclusion, "Well I may not remember who she was, but she was recommended by the Bishop!"
Business Trick
A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own
opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read 'BEST DEALS.'
He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and
announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading 'LOWEST PRICES.'
The shopkeeper panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign
of all over his own shop. It read: 'MAIN ENTRANCE'
opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read 'BEST DEALS.'
He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and
announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading 'LOWEST PRICES.'
The shopkeeper panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign
of all over his own shop. It read: 'MAIN ENTRANCE'
Magic Mirror
A Blonde, a Redhead and a Brunette go into a bar. The bartender tells them there is a magic mirror in the ladies room, if you say one true thing you will receive the desire of your heart, but if you tell a lie you will be sucked into the mirror forever.
The Redhead walks in and says, 'I think I am the most intelligent woman here' and *poof* a million dollars falls in her hands.
The Brunette walks in and says, 'I think I am the most beautiful woman here' and *poof* the keys to a Mustang fall into her hands.
Next the Blonde walks in and says, 'I think...' and *poof* she disappears into the mirror forever.
The Redhead walks in and says, 'I think I am the most intelligent woman here' and *poof* a million dollars falls in her hands.
The Brunette walks in and says, 'I think I am the most beautiful woman here' and *poof* the keys to a Mustang fall into her hands.
Next the Blonde walks in and says, 'I think...' and *poof* she disappears into the mirror forever.
Funny Dumb Blonde Quickie Jokes
Q. Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
A. It's not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy.
Q. What did the blonde’s left leg say to her right leg?
A. Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.
Q. What do you call a blond with a brain?
A. A golden retriever.
Q. Why does a blonde throw water on her keyboard?
A. To surf the internet
Q. What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes?
A. Invisible.
Q. Why are there no brunette jokes?
A. Because blondes would have to think them up.
Q. How do you keep a blonde in suspense?
A. Present her with a mirror and tell her to wait for the other person to say "Hello"
Q. How do you keep a blonde busy for hours?
A. Write "Please turn over" on both sides of a piece of paper.
Q. How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A. Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
Q. How do you confuse a blonde?
A. You can't, they have always been like that.
Q. A blonde is going to London on a plane. How can you steal her window seat?
A. Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.
Q. What do twenty blondes standing ear to ear make?
A. A wind tunnel.
Q. How do you confuse a blonde?
A. Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
Sardar in Paris
A Sardar furniture dealer decided that he wanted to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find. After arriving in Paris (this being his first trip ever to the French capital), he met with some manufacturers and finally selected a new range of furniture that he thought would sell well back home in India .
To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a pub and havea glass of wine. As he sat down enjoying his wine, soon enough, a very beautiful attractive young lady came to his table, asked him something in French (which he did not understand), and motioned toward the chair.
He invited her to sit down. He tried to speak to her in Hindi, Punjabi & English, but she did not speak or know any of these languages. So, after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it her. She nodded, and he ordered a glass of wine for her. After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded.
They left the pub and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music. They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing.
She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up. Then, after they were back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a bed. . . . ........ ............ ........ Would you believe..... .. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Till this day, the Sardar has no idea how she figured out that he was in the furniture business!!!!
To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a pub and havea glass of wine. As he sat down enjoying his wine, soon enough, a very beautiful attractive young lady came to his table, asked him something in French (which he did not understand), and motioned toward the chair.
He invited her to sit down. He tried to speak to her in Hindi, Punjabi & English, but she did not speak or know any of these languages. So, after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it her. She nodded, and he ordered a glass of wine for her. After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded.
They left the pub and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music. They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing.
She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up. Then, after they were back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a bed. . . . ........ ............ ........ Would you believe..... .. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Till this day, the Sardar has no idea how she figured out that he was in the furniture business!!!!
Capitalism
A little boy came up to his father and asked: daddy, what is political corruption?!
His father looked strangely on him and said: well son, you wouldn’t understand now, but I will make it close to you: I pay money on this house, so call me the capitalism…
Your mom is organizing this house matters, so lets call her the government…
And you are at her disposal, so lets call you…the people…
And your little brother is our hope…so we shall call him…the future….
However, for our maid who lives with us and we support her, so we shall call her…the hard working labor…
Go off son and think about that, may be you shall understand now…
So late at night, the little boy kept thinking about this and couldn’t sleep, he got up at night hearing his little baby brother crying….
He checked him and found him soaked in dirt as his diaper was full of shit….
He went to call his mommy, but found her in deep sleep…..!
So boy goes to check his dad, he went up to maid’s room and looked thru door hole, he finds his dad sleeping with maid…..
So next day, the little boy goes straight to his dad and says: well daddy I know now what political corruption is….
Well sonny…what is it? Replied his father strangely….
When capitalism screws around with the hard working labor, and government is sleeping off, the people is left unattended and the future is deep in shit…….:))
His father looked strangely on him and said: well son, you wouldn’t understand now, but I will make it close to you: I pay money on this house, so call me the capitalism…
Your mom is organizing this house matters, so lets call her the government…
And you are at her disposal, so lets call you…the people…
And your little brother is our hope…so we shall call him…the future….
However, for our maid who lives with us and we support her, so we shall call her…the hard working labor…
Go off son and think about that, may be you shall understand now…
So late at night, the little boy kept thinking about this and couldn’t sleep, he got up at night hearing his little baby brother crying….
He checked him and found him soaked in dirt as his diaper was full of shit….
He went to call his mommy, but found her in deep sleep…..!
So boy goes to check his dad, he went up to maid’s room and looked thru door hole, he finds his dad sleeping with maid…..
So next day, the little boy goes straight to his dad and says: well daddy I know now what political corruption is….
Well sonny…what is it? Replied his father strangely….
When capitalism screws around with the hard working labor, and government is sleeping off, the people is left unattended and the future is deep in shit…….:))
The Indian Engineer
NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars.
Only one person could go, and he will not return to Earth.
The first applicant, an American engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going.
“A million dollars”, he answered, “because I wish to donate it to M.I.T.”
The next applicant, a Russian doctor, was asked the same question.
He asked for two million dollars.
“I wish to give a million to my family”, he explained, “and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research.”
The last applicant was an Indian Engineer.
When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewers ear, “Three million dollars.”
“Why so much more than the others?” the interviewer asked.
He Replied, “$1 million is for you, I will keep $1million, and well give the American engineer $1million and send him to Mars”.
Only one person could go, and he will not return to Earth.
The first applicant, an American engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going.
“A million dollars”, he answered, “because I wish to donate it to M.I.T.”
The next applicant, a Russian doctor, was asked the same question.
He asked for two million dollars.
“I wish to give a million to my family”, he explained, “and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research.”
The last applicant was an Indian Engineer.
When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewers ear, “Three million dollars.”
“Why so much more than the others?” the interviewer asked.
He Replied, “$1 million is for you, I will keep $1million, and well give the American engineer $1million and send him to Mars”.
Loving and caring wife
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.
He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die.
Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal he can take to work. And for dinner, prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores, as this could further his stress.
Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Try to relax your husband in the evening by wearing lingerie and giving him plenty of backrubs. Encourage him to watch some type of team sporting event on television. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health.
On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"
"You're going to die," she replied.
He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die.
Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal he can take to work. And for dinner, prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores, as this could further his stress.
Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Try to relax your husband in the evening by wearing lingerie and giving him plenty of backrubs. Encourage him to watch some type of team sporting event on television. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health.
On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"
"You're going to die," she replied.
Miniskirt Blues
In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop a beautiful young woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket.
As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on the bus she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the bus' first step. So slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver she reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.
Again she tried to make the step onto the bus to discover she still could not make the step. So, a little more embarrassed she once again reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little more. And for a second time she attempted the step and once again, much to her chagrin she could not raise her leg because of the tight skirt.
So with a coy little smile to the driver she again unzipped the offending skirt to give a little more slack and again was unable to make the step. About this time the big Texan that was behind her in the line picked her up easily from the waist and placed her lightly on the step of the bus.
Well, she went ballistic and turned on the would-be hero, screeching at him "How dare you touch my body!! I don't even know who you are!! " At this the Texan drawled " Well ma'am, normally I would agree with you but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that maybe we were friends."
As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on the bus she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the bus' first step. So slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver she reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.
Again she tried to make the step onto the bus to discover she still could not make the step. So, a little more embarrassed she once again reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little more. And for a second time she attempted the step and once again, much to her chagrin she could not raise her leg because of the tight skirt.
So with a coy little smile to the driver she again unzipped the offending skirt to give a little more slack and again was unable to make the step. About this time the big Texan that was behind her in the line picked her up easily from the waist and placed her lightly on the step of the bus.
Well, she went ballistic and turned on the would-be hero, screeching at him "How dare you touch my body!! I don't even know who you are!! " At this the Texan drawled " Well ma'am, normally I would agree with you but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that maybe we were friends."
Pest Problem
A: I'm in a big trouble!
B: Why is that?
A: I saw a mouse in my house!
B: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap.
A: I don't have one.
B: Well then, buy one.
A: Can't afford one.
B: I can give you mine if you want.
A: That sounds good.
B: All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap.
A: I don't have any cheese.
B: Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap.
A: I don't have oil.
B: Well, then put only a small piece of bread.
A: I don't have bread.
B: Then what is the mouse doing at your house??????
B: Why is that?
A: I saw a mouse in my house!
B: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap.
A: I don't have one.
B: Well then, buy one.
A: Can't afford one.
B: I can give you mine if you want.
A: That sounds good.
B: All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap.
A: I don't have any cheese.
B: Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap.
A: I don't have oil.
B: Well, then put only a small piece of bread.
A: I don't have bread.
B: Then what is the mouse doing at your house??????
Why professionals are Dirty?
The Doctor because he says, "Take off your clothes."
The Dentist because he says, "Open wide."
The hairdresser because he says, "Do you want it teased or blown?"
The Milkman because he says, "Do you want it in front or in back?"
The Interior Decorator because he says, "Once you have it all in, you'll love it."
The Banker because he says, "If you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest."
The Police Officer because he says, "Spread 'em."
The Pilot because he takes off fast and then slows down.
The Hunter because he always goes deep in the bush, shoots twice and always eats what he shoots.
The Dentist because he says, "Open wide."
The hairdresser because he says, "Do you want it teased or blown?"
The Milkman because he says, "Do you want it in front or in back?"
The Interior Decorator because he says, "Once you have it all in, you'll love it."
The Banker because he says, "If you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest."
The Police Officer because he says, "Spread 'em."
The Pilot because he takes off fast and then slows down.
The Hunter because he always goes deep in the bush, shoots twice and always eats what he shoots.
Can you guess my age ?
Julie decides to have a face-lift for her birthday. She spends $5,000 and feels really good about the results. On her way home, he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper.
Before leaving, she says to the sales clerk:
"I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 31," was the reply.
"I'm actually 47," Julie says, feeling really happy.
After that, she goes into McDonalds for lunch and asks the clerk the same question.
The reply is, "Oh, you look about 35".
"I am actually 47."
Later, while sitting in a restaurant, she asks a man sitting near her-
"How old do you think I am ?"
He replies, "My eyesight fails me however, when I was young, there was a sure way of telling a woman's age. If I put my hand down your bra and play with your boobs for 10 minutes, I will be able to tell you your exact age."
As there was no one around, Julie thinks: What the hell and lets him slip his hand down her bra.
Ten minutes later, the man says, "Okay, it's done. You are 47."
Stunned, the Julie says, "That was brilliant. How did you do that?"
The Man replies, "I was behind you at McDonalds."
Before leaving, she says to the sales clerk:
"I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 31," was the reply.
"I'm actually 47," Julie says, feeling really happy.
After that, she goes into McDonalds for lunch and asks the clerk the same question.
The reply is, "Oh, you look about 35".
"I am actually 47."
Later, while sitting in a restaurant, she asks a man sitting near her-
"How old do you think I am ?"
He replies, "My eyesight fails me however, when I was young, there was a sure way of telling a woman's age. If I put my hand down your bra and play with your boobs for 10 minutes, I will be able to tell you your exact age."
As there was no one around, Julie thinks: What the hell and lets him slip his hand down her bra.
Ten minutes later, the man says, "Okay, it's done. You are 47."
Stunned, the Julie says, "That was brilliant. How did you do that?"
The Man replies, "I was behind you at McDonalds."
Blonde Mother
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast is hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, “Ma’am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?”
She says, “Why, Officer?”
“Because your breast is hanging out.”
She looks down and says, “OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus !”
She says, “Why, Officer?”
“Because your breast is hanging out.”
She looks down and says, “OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus !”
HUSBANDS FOR SALE ! !
A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.
You may visit the store ONLY ONCE !
There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch .. . .. you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!
You may visit the store ONLY ONCE !
There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch .. . .. you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!
Blonde in a Snowstorm
A blonde gets lost in her car in a snowstorm. She remembers her father's advice, "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait for a snow plow and follow it." Soon a snow plow comes by, and she follows it for about 45 minutes.
Finally, the driver of the truck gets out and asks her what she is doing. She explains the advice her father had given her. The driver says, "Well, I'm done with the parking lot here at the mall, now you can follow me over to the bank.
Finally, the driver of the truck gets out and asks her what she is doing. She explains the advice her father had given her. The driver says, "Well, I'm done with the parking lot here at the mall, now you can follow me over to the bank.
Women's T-Shirt Sayings
- Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
- Guys have feelings too. But like... who cares?
- I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.
- Next mood swing: 6 minutes.
- I hate everybody, and you're next.
- Please don't make me kill you.
- And your point is...?
- I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now.
- I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day.
- Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.
- Remember my name - you'll be screaming it later.
- You KNOW you want me.
- Don't worry. It'll only seem kinky the first time...
- Of course I don't look busy... I did it right the first time.
- Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?
- I'm multi-talented: I can talk and piss you off at the same time.
- You, me, whipped cream, handcuffs. Any questions?
- Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win.
- You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP.
- All stressed out and no one to choke.
- I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people.
- How can I miss you if you won't go away?
- Sorry if I looked interested. I'm not.
- If we are what we eat, I'm fast, cheap and easy.
- I'm out of estrogen and I have a gun.
SO YOU THINK ENGLISH IS EASY!
Whoever put this together is some kind of genius......it would have taken him or her a month of Sundays. Happy reading and enjoy.
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce .
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present .
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row .
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
17) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
18) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
19) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce .
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present .
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row .
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
17) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
18) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
19) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
Hillarious URLs:
In today's world the Key is a good domain Name....
1. A site called ‘Who Represents‘ where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name… for it… is: www.whorepresents.com
2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at www.expertsexchange.com.
3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at www.penisland.net
4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at www.therapistfinder.com
5. Then of course, there’s the Italian Power Generator company… www.powergenitalia.com
6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales: www.molestationnursery.com
Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is www.cummingfirst.com
Then, of course, there’s these brainless art designers, and their whacky website: www.speedofart.com
1. A site called ‘Who Represents‘ where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name… for it… is: www.whorepresents.com
2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at www.expertsexchange.com.
3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at www.penisland.net
4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at www.therapistfinder.com
5. Then of course, there’s the Italian Power Generator company… www.powergenitalia.com
6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales: www.molestationnursery.com
Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is www.cummingfirst.com
Then, of course, there’s these brainless art designers, and their whacky website: www.speedofart.com
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