It was the end of the school day and all of the kids were anxious to go home. The teacher told the kids, "As soon as you can name the speaker of a famous quote you may leave. o.k, who said four score and seven years ago?"
Johnny lifts his hand in excitement.
"Yes, Johnny?"
But before he could answer, Lucy jumped in and said Abraham Lincoln.
"Very good, Lucy, you may go home now."
Johnny was red in the face with anger. The teacher then gave the next quote,
"Who said I have a dream.."
Johnny lifted his hand excitedly again. But this time Mary interjected and said "Martin Luther King."
"Very good, Mary, you may go home now."
At this point Johnny was really frustrated and pissed off. But the teacher asked again, "Who said ask not what your country can do for you?"
Johnny knew this one, he raised his hand quickly. This time Rebecca chimed in and said, "JFK"
"Very good, Rebecca, you may go home now."
Now, Johnny was BOILING MAD! He turns to the kid next to him and says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"
"Who said that?"asked the teacher.
"Bill Clinton," said Johnny, "Can I go home now?"
Did God make you?
A grandfather and granddaughter were sitting and talking when the young girl asked, "Did God make you, Grandpa?"
"Yes, God made me," the grandfather answered.
A few minutes later, the little girl asked him, "Did God make me too?"
"Yes, He did," the older man answered.
For a few minutes, the little girl seemed to be studying her grandpa, as well as her own reflection in the mirror, while her grandfather wondered what was running through her mind.
At last she spoke up. "You know, Grandpa," she said, "God's doing a lot better job lately."
"Yes, God made me," the grandfather answered.
A few minutes later, the little girl asked him, "Did God make me too?"
"Yes, He did," the older man answered.
For a few minutes, the little girl seemed to be studying her grandpa, as well as her own reflection in the mirror, while her grandfather wondered what was running through her mind.
At last she spoke up. "You know, Grandpa," she said, "God's doing a lot better job lately."
Dieting Rules
If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda.
When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if you don’t eat more than they do.
Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER counts, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
Movie-related foods (Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one’s personal fuel.
Cookie pieces contain no calories — the process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae.
Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are: spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate. NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.
Anything consumed while standing over the kitchen sink, has no calories.
If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda.
When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if you don’t eat more than they do.
Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER counts, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
Movie-related foods (Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one’s personal fuel.
Cookie pieces contain no calories — the process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae.
Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are: spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate. NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.
Anything consumed while standing over the kitchen sink, has no calories.
Euro trip
A father, mother, and son were going to Europe and were going to visit the nude beaches while they were there.
They didn't want the son to get a distorted view of beauty, so they told him that the men with really big dicks were really really dumb, and that the woman with really big tits were really really dumb.
When they got to the beach they split up. Later the mother saw the son and asked where his dad was.
The boy said, "Well, the last time I saw him he was talking to this really, really, really dumb blond, and the longer they talked the dumber he got."
They didn't want the son to get a distorted view of beauty, so they told him that the men with really big dicks were really really dumb, and that the woman with really big tits were really really dumb.
When they got to the beach they split up. Later the mother saw the son and asked where his dad was.
The boy said, "Well, the last time I saw him he was talking to this really, really, really dumb blond, and the longer they talked the dumber he got."
Fastest Insurance Claim Settlements
Three Insurance salesmen were having drinks and boasting about each companies' service.
The first one said, "When one of our insured died suddenly on Monday, we got the news that evening and were able to process the claim for the wife and mailed a check on Wednesday evening."
The second one said, "When one of our insured died without warning on Monday, we learned of it in 2 hours and were able to hand-deliver a check the same evening."
The last salesman said, "That's nothing. Our office is on the 20th floor, in the Sears Tower. One of our insured, who was washing a window on the 85th floor, slipped and fell. We handed him his check as he passed our floor."
The first one said, "When one of our insured died suddenly on Monday, we got the news that evening and were able to process the claim for the wife and mailed a check on Wednesday evening."
The second one said, "When one of our insured died without warning on Monday, we learned of it in 2 hours and were able to hand-deliver a check the same evening."
The last salesman said, "That's nothing. Our office is on the 20th floor, in the Sears Tower. One of our insured, who was washing a window on the 85th floor, slipped and fell. We handed him his check as he passed our floor."
Never let me live in a vegetative state
Last night my wife and I were sitting in the living room, talking about life... In-between, we talked about the idea of living or dying.
I said to her:
'Dear, never let me live in a vegetative state, totally dependent on machines and liquids from a bottle. If you see me in that state I want you to disconnect all the contraptions that are keeping me alive, I'd much rather die'.
Then my wife got up from the sofa with this real look of admiration towards me... and proceeded to disconnect the TV, the Cable, the Dish, the DVD, the Computer, the Cell Phone, the iPod, and the Xbox, and then went to the fridge and threw away all my beer!!
*....I ALMOST DIED!!!
I said to her:
'Dear, never let me live in a vegetative state, totally dependent on machines and liquids from a bottle. If you see me in that state I want you to disconnect all the contraptions that are keeping me alive, I'd much rather die'.
Then my wife got up from the sofa with this real look of admiration towards me... and proceeded to disconnect the TV, the Cable, the Dish, the DVD, the Computer, the Cell Phone, the iPod, and the Xbox, and then went to the fridge and threw away all my beer!!
*....I ALMOST DIED!!!
Marriage Mix
Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what will you pay me?
Husband: I won't have to pay you, you'll get my entire insurance amount.
*****
Two men r talking. 1st: I got married coz I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry & wearing shabby clothes.
2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons
*****
What's the diff between Complete & Finished?
If you find good wife u r complete otherwise u r finished.
*****
Police arrested a drunkard & asked: Where r u going?
Man: I'm going 2 listen lecture on ill effects of drinking.
Cop: Who'll lecture at midnight?
Man: My wife...
*****
Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I love u.
After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. U r my headache, one day I'll
kill u.
*****
Q: Why do women live longer than men?
A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!
Husband: I won't have to pay you, you'll get my entire insurance amount.
*****
Two men r talking. 1st: I got married coz I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry & wearing shabby clothes.
2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons
*****
What's the diff between Complete & Finished?
If you find good wife u r complete otherwise u r finished.
*****
Police arrested a drunkard & asked: Where r u going?
Man: I'm going 2 listen lecture on ill effects of drinking.
Cop: Who'll lecture at midnight?
Man: My wife...
*****
Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I love u.
After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. U r my headache, one day I'll
kill u.
*****
Q: Why do women live longer than men?
A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!
What did you win the last time?
A very drunk man goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender serves him and asks him if he would like to try the bar game of darts. Three in the bulls eye and win a prize.. Only a dollar for three darts.
The drunk agrees and throws the first dart. A bulls eye!! He downs another drink, takes aim on wobbly feet, lets go...Two bulls eyes!!!! Two more quick drinks go down. Barely able to stand, he lets go of the last dart.
Three bulls eyes!!!
All are astounded. No one has ever won before. The bartender searches for a prize... grabs a turtle from the bar's terrarium and presents it to the drunk as his prize.
Three weeks pass... The drunk returns and orders more drinks, then announces he would like to try the dart game again. To the total amazement and wonderment of all the local drunks, he scores three more bulls eyes and demands his prize.
The bartender, being a sort of drunk himself, and a bit short of memory, doesn't know what to give, so he asks the drunk, "Say, what did you win the last time?"
And the drunk responds, "A roast beef sandwich on a hard roll!"
The drunk agrees and throws the first dart. A bulls eye!! He downs another drink, takes aim on wobbly feet, lets go...Two bulls eyes!!!! Two more quick drinks go down. Barely able to stand, he lets go of the last dart.
Three bulls eyes!!!
All are astounded. No one has ever won before. The bartender searches for a prize... grabs a turtle from the bar's terrarium and presents it to the drunk as his prize.
Three weeks pass... The drunk returns and orders more drinks, then announces he would like to try the dart game again. To the total amazement and wonderment of all the local drunks, he scores three more bulls eyes and demands his prize.
The bartender, being a sort of drunk himself, and a bit short of memory, doesn't know what to give, so he asks the drunk, "Say, what did you win the last time?"
And the drunk responds, "A roast beef sandwich on a hard roll!"
You look ten years younger
Two homosexuals were talking when one of them happened to mention that he had gotten circumcised last week.
"Can I see it?" asked the second gay guy, so he promptly dropped his pants to show off his operation.
"Oooh," squealed his friend, "You look ten years younger!"
"Can I see it?" asked the second gay guy, so he promptly dropped his pants to show off his operation.
"Oooh," squealed his friend, "You look ten years younger!"
A Woman's Thoughts on Life
- Your secrets are safe with me, and all my friends.
- I don't repeat gossip, so listen carefully.
- If I can't be skinny, let all my friends be fat.
- My idea of cleaning the house is sweeping the floor with a glance.
- I cleaned my house yesterday, sure wish you could have seen it.
- This isn't clutter, these are my antiques!
- If you don't like my attitude, call: 1-800-Who-Cares.
- Discover Wildlife! Have Kids!
- "Genuine Antique Person," Been there, done that, can't remember!
- Our policy is to always blame the computer.
- I'm not aging, I just need re-potting.
- Take my advice, I'm not using it!
- Okay! I love you! Now can we eat?
- You know you are getting old when you stop to think and forget to start again.
- Mom, I'll always love you, but I'll never forgive you for cleaning my face with spit on a hanky.
- I love to give homemade gifts ... umm, which one of the kids would you like?
- I have a million dollar figure -- but it's all loose change!
- By the time you find greener pastures, you can't climb the fence!
- This house is protected by killer dust bunnies.
- Every time I get the urge to exercise, I lie down till the feeling passes.
- I don't repeat gossip, so listen carefully.
- If I can't be skinny, let all my friends be fat.
- My idea of cleaning the house is sweeping the floor with a glance.
- I cleaned my house yesterday, sure wish you could have seen it.
- This isn't clutter, these are my antiques!
- If you don't like my attitude, call: 1-800-Who-Cares.
- Discover Wildlife! Have Kids!
- "Genuine Antique Person," Been there, done that, can't remember!
- Our policy is to always blame the computer.
- I'm not aging, I just need re-potting.
- Take my advice, I'm not using it!
- Okay! I love you! Now can we eat?
- You know you are getting old when you stop to think and forget to start again.
- Mom, I'll always love you, but I'll never forgive you for cleaning my face with spit on a hanky.
- I love to give homemade gifts ... umm, which one of the kids would you like?
- I have a million dollar figure -- but it's all loose change!
- By the time you find greener pastures, you can't climb the fence!
- This house is protected by killer dust bunnies.
- Every time I get the urge to exercise, I lie down till the feeling passes.
Golden Ruke for F***ing
1. F***ing once a week is good for health, But is harmful if done everyday.
2. F***ing gives proper relaxation to Mind & Body.
3.F***ing refreshes you.
4. After F***ing, don't take heavy food, opt for liquids.
5. F***ing can even reduce your cholesterol level.
6. F***ing reduces weight for sure...
"FASTing" is really good for Health !!!
WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?
2. F***ing gives proper relaxation to Mind & Body.
3.F***ing refreshes you.
4. After F***ing, don't take heavy food, opt for liquids.
5. F***ing can even reduce your cholesterol level.
6. F***ing reduces weight for sure...
"FASTing" is really good for Health !!!
WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?
101 Lies Men Tell Women
- I'll call you.
- I love you.
- You're the only one.
- I've never felt this way about anyone else.
- I've got to work late at the office tonight.
- That's the best sex I've ever had.
- You've got the most beautiful eyes
- No, I'm not married
- Sorry. I must have left my wallet and credit cards at home.
- You just have to believe me when I tell you nothing's wrong.
- I'm ready to make a commitment.
- Except for a beer or two, I never drink.
- My wife and I haven't had sex in years.
- We'll get married as soon as I ...
- I'll be home in twenty minutes.
- It's not that I don't care - I just have to spend more time with my kids.
- I've only slept with maybe ten women in my entire life.
- I've been celibate since we broke up.
- I could never lie to you.
- I can still last all night
- I always use a condom
- I can help you get a great job in my company (field)
- I haven't seen her since she and I broke up
- I tested HIV negative
- I haven't seen her since she and I broke up
- The only sexual fantasies I have are about you
- No, I don't think your thighs (stomach, breasts, hips, etc.) are too big
- I'm too tired
- How could you think I'd be interested in her? She's your best friend
- When it comes to oral sex, I'm the best
- I've never had any trouble keeping an erection before
- It's you and me, babe - we'll make love all over Europe
- I'd never do anything to hurt you.
- I want to grow old with you
- Believe me, my wife and I live very separate lives
- Our having sex won't change a thing between us
- Don't worry, I've had a vasectomy
- I'm going to leave my wife
- You're nothing at all like my mother
- Your being a different religion doesn't matter to me
- It doesn't bother me that you make more money than I do
- Even without sex, we'd still be friends
- I think older women are the most exciting
- I'm considered one of the top people (in my field, in the company)
- What attracts me to you is your mind
- We'll split all the child care and household chores fifty-fifty
- Of course I don't mind that you didn't come
- I've never had an affair before
- You're the only one who understands me
- I've never been in therapy
- You're the best thing that's ever happened to me
- No, I'm not seeing anyone else
- I haven't thought about her (old girlfriend) in years
- How many times do I have to tell you I'm not having an affair?
- Your career is as important as mine
- I promise you that I'll change
- I want us to remain close friends always
- My wife and I have an understanding
- You're wonderful; you deserve someone better than me
- I don't masturbate
- Let's be friends first
- When you walked through that door, I knew it was the real thing
- I'd like you even if you were a man
- It's okay to be good looking, but looks just don't mean that much to me
- The difference between us will bring us even closer
- I spend everything I earn on you and the kids
- No, I never said that
- You make me feel like a kid again
- I'm going out with the boys (to the gym, to the office)
- I'll move wherever you want
- Of course I'm not bored with you
- As soon as I finish this project (get a promotion, a raise, make partner), we'll......
- You've got more sex appeal in your little toe than my wife's got in her whole body
- It wouldn't be you and me anymore if I used one of those
- Let's pool our assets - whatever is mine is yours
- I still find you just as attractive as the day I met you
- Divorce is the farthest thing from my mind
- Sure, I'll watch the kids
- It's not just the sex I want, it's being close to you.
- We'll be spending a lot of time together when I retire
- You're the only reason I've worked so hard
- If I didn't have all this work, you know I'd go with you and the kids to your mom's
- No one's ever turned me on like you do
- My boss says there's nothing to worry about
- I'll never tell
- Relax, she's just a friend
- This is just a temporary separation until we get things worked out
- Your hair (dress, outfit) looks fantastic
- It was just sex - it didn't mean a thing
- Of course I'm listening to what you're saying
- Come on in and we'll just cuddle for a few minutes
- No, I don't think you're fat
- You're the woman I should have married
- I'm going to be focusing on my wokr for a while now.
- I guarantee you, I'm not the father
- Your having kids has nothing to do with my not wanting to get married
- I'm not ashamed of the way you talk (look, act, etc.)
- It's nothing personal; I just don't like sharing my living space with someone
- This time I'm really serious
- Honestly, honey, it's just for the guys - none of the wives go to the conference
- I'll always take care of you.
ORGASM TYPES . . .
How many of these orgasms have you had?
- Sex in a boat = Oargasms
- Sex with a nerd = Dorkgasms
- Sex at the entrance to your house = Doorgasms
- Sex on the carpet or linoleum = Floorgasms
- Sex at the supermarket = Storegasms
- Sex with wild pigs = Boargasms
- Sex at a Stephen King movie = Horrorgasms
- Sex with a prostitute = Whoregasms
- Sex with a storyteller = Loregasms
- Sex with an accountant = Boregasms
- Sex while sleeping = Snoregasms
- Sex with Arthur = Dudley Mooregasms
- Sex while broke = Poorgasms
- Sex with a lion = Roargasms
- Sex for hours and hours on end = Soregasms
- Sex on a golf course = Foregasms
- Sex with a nymphomaniac = Ready for Moregasms
- Sex in a gold mine = Oregasms
- Sex with a dermatologist = Poregasms
- Sex with the ex-vice president = Al Goregasms
- Sex with chocolate marshmallows = S’moregasms
- Sex with a bullfighter = Toreadorgasms
- Sex with a masked man carrying a sword = Zorrogasms
- Sex on the beach = Shoregasms
- Sex when you get an award = Honorgasms
- Sex at an all you can eat buffet = Smorgasbordgasms
- Sex on a cruise ship deck = Shuffleboardgasms
- Sex in Asia = Singaporegasms
- Sex among the wonders of the world = Outdoorgasms
- Sex in the vicinity of garbage can = Odorgasms
- Sex on the way to the train = All aboardgasms
- Sex that isn’t very satisfying = There’s the doorgasms
- Sex during hay fever season = Sporegasms
- Sex with a Medieval poet = Troubadorgasms
- Sex in an adult theater = Hardcoregasms
- Sex with conquering Spaniards = Conquistadorgasms
- Sex with someone not paying attention = Ignorgasms
- Sex with a competitive partner = Scoregasms
- Sex in a firehouse = Firedoorgasms
- Sex with an Icelandic singer = Bjorkgasms
- Sex with a cookie = Oreogasms
- Sex while flying = Soargasms
- Sex with a bugle player = Horngasms
- Sex with an astronaut who didn’t make it into space = Abortgasms
- Sex with a beloved partner = Adoregasms
- Sex with a meat eater = Carnivoregasms
- Sex with a person who’s got a really bad hairdo = Pompadoregasms
- Sex with someone who has really bad taste in clothes = Velourgasms
- Sex while sightseeing = Tourgasms
- Sex with a big dog = Labradorgasms
- Sex with Beavs and Butthead = Gonnascoregasms
- Sex during an earthquake = Tremorgasms
- Sex on farm implements = Tractorgasms
- Sex with Thomas Edison = Inventorgasms
- Sex with a construction worker = Contractorgasms
- Sex at a symphony orchestra = Conductorgasms
- Sex on the stairs at the mall = Escalatorgasms
- Sex while hopelessly drunk on shooters = Liquorgasms
- Sex with a possessive partner = Yourgasms
- Sex with Frankenstein’s assistant = Igorgasms
- Sex with three of your friends = Fourgasms
- Sex with a Norse God = Thorgasms
- Sex without a climax = Nogasms
A lecture
An elderly man is stopped by the police around 1 a. m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night.
The man replies, “I am going to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body”.
The officer then asks, “Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?”
The man replies, “My wife.”
The man replies, “I am going to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body”.
The officer then asks, “Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?”
The man replies, “My wife.”
What Men Call Their Women
What's in a name? Apparently, a lot more than you (or I) ever thought there was. Here's what his pet name for you really means.....
Darling -- Depends on how he says it. If he stresses the first syllable, then he's probably done something wrong or wants money.
Dear -- Probably a leftover from his parents. Expect him to wear woolly cardigans, smoke a pipe and prefer a mug of Ovaltine to lager.
Sweetheart -- If it's said patronizingly, it's not so sweet. But when uttered in earnest, it may send your own sweet heart aflutter.
Babe -- Not to be confused with the film of the same name. Check for flares or signs that he's a 70s throwback. He's a bit of a medallion man. Chances are he's got his initials on his chunky ring. Leave immediately if he tries to sell you a second-hand car.
Baby doll -- This type of man will probably require you to wear transparent frilly nighties even in the dead of winter. He doesn't want you to grow up, and obviously can't deal with real women.
Princess -- Never trust a man who calls you princess. You may think you're being treated like royalty, but beware of Prince Charmings - they may be secretly plotting your over- throw.
Sexy -- Fine if you're sexy. If you're not, who cares? He probably thinks you are anyway!!
My girlfriend -- He's honest, open and probably glad to have you around. The next thing you know he'll be using your name!
The wife -- If you're married then he probably thinks he owns you. If you're not, he probably thinks you act like his wife, in which case, he thinks he owns you.
My other half -- You complete the set - he's only half a man without you. But it may make you feel as though you are losing your identity somewhere.
The missus -- See The Wife.
My partner -- He's right on. Probably likes eating tofu and hugging trees.
My significant other -- He's even more right on. Probably thinks it's cruel to eat tofu and that trees need their own space.
She who must be obeyed -- He thinks you're a nag, but probably doesn't lift a finger around the house.
Darling -- Depends on how he says it. If he stresses the first syllable, then he's probably done something wrong or wants money.
Dear -- Probably a leftover from his parents. Expect him to wear woolly cardigans, smoke a pipe and prefer a mug of Ovaltine to lager.
Sweetheart -- If it's said patronizingly, it's not so sweet. But when uttered in earnest, it may send your own sweet heart aflutter.
Babe -- Not to be confused with the film of the same name. Check for flares or signs that he's a 70s throwback. He's a bit of a medallion man. Chances are he's got his initials on his chunky ring. Leave immediately if he tries to sell you a second-hand car.
Baby doll -- This type of man will probably require you to wear transparent frilly nighties even in the dead of winter. He doesn't want you to grow up, and obviously can't deal with real women.
Princess -- Never trust a man who calls you princess. You may think you're being treated like royalty, but beware of Prince Charmings - they may be secretly plotting your over- throw.
Sexy -- Fine if you're sexy. If you're not, who cares? He probably thinks you are anyway!!
My girlfriend -- He's honest, open and probably glad to have you around. The next thing you know he'll be using your name!
The wife -- If you're married then he probably thinks he owns you. If you're not, he probably thinks you act like his wife, in which case, he thinks he owns you.
My other half -- You complete the set - he's only half a man without you. But it may make you feel as though you are losing your identity somewhere.
The missus -- See The Wife.
My partner -- He's right on. Probably likes eating tofu and hugging trees.
My significant other -- He's even more right on. Probably thinks it's cruel to eat tofu and that trees need their own space.
She who must be obeyed -- He thinks you're a nag, but probably doesn't lift a finger around the house.
I love to fish
A fellow was on his honeymoon near his favorite fishing lake and he would fish from dawn to dark with his favorite fishing guide.
One day the guide, friend of many years, mentioned that the honeymoon seemed to be spent fishing.
"Yes, but you know how I love to fish..."
"But aren't you newlyweds supposed to be into something else?"
"Yes, but she's got gonorrhea; and you know how I love to fish"
A few hours later, "I understand, but that's not the only way to have sex."
"I know, but she's got diarrhea; and you know how I love to fish..."
The following day: "Sure, but that's still not the only way to have sex."
"Yeah, but she's got pyorrhea; and you know how I love to fish..."
Late that afternoon, thoroughly frustrated the guide comments, "I guess I'm not sure why you'd marry someone with health problems like that."
"It's 'cause she's also got worms; and you know I just love to fish..."
One day the guide, friend of many years, mentioned that the honeymoon seemed to be spent fishing.
"Yes, but you know how I love to fish..."
"But aren't you newlyweds supposed to be into something else?"
"Yes, but she's got gonorrhea; and you know how I love to fish"
A few hours later, "I understand, but that's not the only way to have sex."
"I know, but she's got diarrhea; and you know how I love to fish..."
The following day: "Sure, but that's still not the only way to have sex."
"Yeah, but she's got pyorrhea; and you know how I love to fish..."
Late that afternoon, thoroughly frustrated the guide comments, "I guess I'm not sure why you'd marry someone with health problems like that."
"It's 'cause she's also got worms; and you know I just love to fish..."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)