A woman was in town on a shopping trip. She found the most perfect shoes in the first shop,and a beautiful dress in the second. In the third everything had just been reduced 50% - then her mobile phone rang. It was a female doctor notifying her that her husband had just been in a terrible car accident and was in a critical condition and was in the ICU.
The woman told the doctor to tell her husband that she'd be there as soon as possible.
When she hung up she realized she was leaving what was shaping up to be her best day ever shopping in these boutiques, so she decided to just look in two or three more before heading to the hospital.
Anyway she ended up shopping the rest of the morning, finishing her trip with a cup of coffee and a beautiful chocolate cake compliments of the last shop. She was jubilant.
Then she remembered her husband. Feeling guilty, she dashed to the hospital. She saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about her husband's condition. The lady doctor glared at her and shouted, 'You went ahead and finished your shopping trip didn't you! I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself shopping, your husband has been languishing in the Intensive Care Unit! It's just as well you went ahead and finished your shopping, because it's likely to be the last one you will ever make! For the rest of his life he will require round the clock care. And he will now be your responsibility! '
The woman felt so guilty she broke down and cried and cried.
The lady doctor then laughed and said, 'I'm just pulling your leg. He's dead.......now show me what you bought.'
10 Reasons Adam Was The Luckiest Man
1. He is the only man who has never been compared to the man she could have married.
2. He had no in-laws to drop in.
3. There were no Jones for him to keep up with.
4. There were no credit cards OR shopping centers.
5. He never had his dinner interrupted by window salesmen.
6. He got away with wearing a simple wardrobe.
7. He never had to shovel snow!
8. If he had gone bald, who would have known that wasn't normal.
9.. There was no "standard weight and height" tables - and the word FAT meant good.
10. When God asked "Adam, where are you?" He replied, "The woman you gave me was reading the map."
2. He had no in-laws to drop in.
3. There were no Jones for him to keep up with.
4. There were no credit cards OR shopping centers.
5. He never had his dinner interrupted by window salesmen.
6. He got away with wearing a simple wardrobe.
7. He never had to shovel snow!
8. If he had gone bald, who would have known that wasn't normal.
9.. There was no "standard weight and height" tables - and the word FAT meant good.
10. When God asked "Adam, where are you?" He replied, "The woman you gave me was reading the map."
Ultimate Rejection Lines
... I'd rather have my nipples chewed off...by a pack of wild dogs.
... I'd rather masturbate with a cheese grater.
... I'd rather masturbate with a cheese grater.
... I'd rather slide down a barbed wire banister into a bucket of alcohol.
... I would rather stick my genitals in a bees nest.
... I would rather crush my foreskin between two tables while being bitch whipped by a fat, mustached geek named Spyros.
... I would rather have a porcupine inserted violently into my rectum.
... I'd rather drink a gallon of turpentine...and piss on a forest fire.
... I'd rather suck cow snot...through a straw.
... I would rather sandpaper a wildcat's ass.
... I'd rather watch Rosie O'Donnell and Roseanne mud wrestle... in the nude.
... I'd rather bungee jump...with the harness tied to my penis ...with your mom lying naked in the landing zone.
... I would rather dry fuck a polar bear...in a phone booth.
... I would rather spend ten hours getting a tattoo on my back ...and then find out it's the wrong one.
... I'd rather cram my dick in the ass of a bear with inflamed hemorrhoids.
... Life is like a dick ... When it gets hard ... Screw it!
... I'd rather have the ten strongest 300 pound linemen in the NFL play tug of war with my nut sack....each side of 5 pulling a separate nut in a different direction.
... I'd rather have the ten strongest 300 pound linemen in the NFL play tug of war with my nut sack....each side of 5 pulling a separate nut in a different direction.
... I would rather try to open a beer bottle with my sphincter ...and not a twist off either.
... I would rather have my lower legs stripped with a wood planer ...and then wear wool socks...in August.
... I'd rather stick my nose up someone's ass...after he just finished taking a shit.
... I'd rather shave my poison-ivy covered legs ... with a dull barber's razor...and no water or soap.
... I'd rather shave my poison-ivy covered legs ... with a dull barber's razor...and no water or soap.
... I'd rather French kiss a barracuda.
... I'd rather poke a Grizzly Bear in the ass...with a short stick.
Maths Lessons
A little boy was doing his maths homework.
He said to himself, "Two plus five, the son of a b!tch is seven.
Three plus six, the son of a b!tch is nine..."
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my maths homework, Mom."
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.
"Yes," he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in maths?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, the Son Of a b!tch is four?"
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered,
"What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."
He said to himself, "Two plus five, the son of a b!tch is seven.
Three plus six, the son of a b!tch is nine..."
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my maths homework, Mom."
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.
"Yes," he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in maths?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, the Son Of a b!tch is four?"
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered,
"What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."
Are you happy?
A widower who never paid any attention to his wife while she was alive now found himself missing her desperately. He went to a psychic to see if he could contact his late wife.
The psychic went into a trance. A strange breeze wafted through the darkened room, and suddenly, the man heard the unmistakable voice of his dearly departed wife.
"Honey!" he cried. "Is that you?"
"Yes, my husband."
"Are you happy?"
"Yes, my husband."
"Happier than you were with me?"
"Yes, my husband."
"Then Heaven must be an amazing place!"
"I'm not in Heaven, dear."
The psychic went into a trance. A strange breeze wafted through the darkened room, and suddenly, the man heard the unmistakable voice of his dearly departed wife.
"Honey!" he cried. "Is that you?"
"Yes, my husband."
"Are you happy?"
"Yes, my husband."
"Happier than you were with me?"
"Yes, my husband."
"Then Heaven must be an amazing place!"
"I'm not in Heaven, dear."
Too Sick
An employee who had a terrible history for taking time off phoned in again one Monday morning:
"I'm sorry, but I'll not be able to come in today as I'm too sick."
On hearing this his exasperated boss could barely conceal his anger and retorted in a rage:
"well, just how sick are you?"
"Well" the employee sighed, "I'm in bed with my sister!"
"I'm sorry, but I'll not be able to come in today as I'm too sick."
On hearing this his exasperated boss could barely conceal his anger and retorted in a rage:
"well, just how sick are you?"
"Well" the employee sighed, "I'm in bed with my sister!"
DOME
Many years ago I was acting as the system administrator for a test system in a large publicly held company.
Periodically I would receive a call from someone who had not accessed the system recently, forgot their password and locked themselves out trying to logon. I would look up their password and unlock the system for them and they would go on their merry way.
One day I received a call from a young lady who was in just such a predicament.
I looked up her password and informed her that it was 'DOME' and, just to be playful, told her the price for me being gracious enough to unlock her sign-on was an explanation of the meaning of her password.
She became very embarrassed over the phone and pleaded that she could never reveal her secret.
I of course replied that I would not give her system access until she did.
After negotiating for several minutes she finally acquiesced but made me promise to never reveal her password meaning to any of her colleagues to which I gladly agreed.
"Well, what does it mean?" I asked.
She hesitated and then replied, "It's two words."
There was pregnant pause.
I unlocked her system and simply said, "Have a nice day."
Periodically I would receive a call from someone who had not accessed the system recently, forgot their password and locked themselves out trying to logon. I would look up their password and unlock the system for them and they would go on their merry way.
One day I received a call from a young lady who was in just such a predicament.
I looked up her password and informed her that it was 'DOME' and, just to be playful, told her the price for me being gracious enough to unlock her sign-on was an explanation of the meaning of her password.
She became very embarrassed over the phone and pleaded that she could never reveal her secret.
I of course replied that I would not give her system access until she did.
After negotiating for several minutes she finally acquiesced but made me promise to never reveal her password meaning to any of her colleagues to which I gladly agreed.
"Well, what does it mean?" I asked.
She hesitated and then replied, "It's two words."
There was pregnant pause.
I unlocked her system and simply said, "Have a nice day."
English Can Be Fun - First few noticed in UK !
Spotted in a toilet of a London office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.
In a London Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
Outside a London second-hand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a London conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE
ON THE 1ST FLOOR
Notice in a field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR, THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
People in non-English speaking countries sometimes go out of their way to communicate
with their English-speaking tourists. Here is a list of signs seen around the world :
At a Budapest zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT
TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.
Doctors office, Rome :
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
Hotel, Acapulco :
THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.
In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE SHOULD WAIT AND SEE THE MANAGER.
In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.
In a Calcutta Coffee House:
PEOPLE DISCARDING CIGARETTE STUBS IN CUPS WILL BE SERVED COFFEE IN ASH TRAYS
Crocheted Doilies
There was once a man and woman who had been married for more than 60 years.
They had shared everything.
They had talked about everything.
They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.
For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover.
In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside.
She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box.
When he opened it, he found two crocheted doilies and a stack of money totaling $25,000.
He asked her about the contents. "When we were to be married,"
she said, "My grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue.
She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doily."
The little old man was so moved, he had to fight back tears.
Only two precious doilies were in the box.
She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving.
He almost burst with happiness. "Honey," he said, "that explains the doilies, but what about all of this money?
Where did it come from?" "Oh," she said, "that's the money I made from selling the doilies."
They had shared everything.
They had talked about everything.
They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.
For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover.
In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside.
She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box.
When he opened it, he found two crocheted doilies and a stack of money totaling $25,000.
He asked her about the contents. "When we were to be married,"
she said, "My grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue.
She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doily."
The little old man was so moved, he had to fight back tears.
Only two precious doilies were in the box.
She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving.
He almost burst with happiness. "Honey," he said, "that explains the doilies, but what about all of this money?
Where did it come from?" "Oh," she said, "that's the money I made from selling the doilies."
Eating Out
Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat.
The waiter became quite concerned and marched over and told them, "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!"
The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders, and then exchanged sandwiches.
The waiter became quite concerned and marched over and told them, "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!"
The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders, and then exchanged sandwiches.
Wonderful one minute
One smart engineer and his Project Manager were traveling in a train.
Just Opposite to their seat, a beautiful girl was sitting along with her grand ma.
With in some time, Eye-Eye interactions started between the engineer & that girl.
After some minutes, train started moving in to a tunnel and it was very dark.
Suddenly, everybody heard a Kiss sound followed by a loud slapping sound.
Every body remained silent, when the train came out of the tunnel.
Grand ma thought that,” The Guy is a rogue; how dare he is? He has kissed my grand daughter! But my Grand daughter is genuine; she immediately slapped that guy.”
That girl thought that,” I feel happy, when that guy kissed me, but I feel sorry that my grand ma has slapped him”.
PM thought that,” I can’t believe that this guy has kissed that girl! But it is unfair that she slapped me by mistake”
Finally, the engineer thought?
“This one minute in my life is wonderful, it hardly comes…because, at a time I have kissed a girl and also I have slapped my PM.”
Enjoy every moment !!!!!
Just Opposite to their seat, a beautiful girl was sitting along with her grand ma.
With in some time, Eye-Eye interactions started between the engineer & that girl.
After some minutes, train started moving in to a tunnel and it was very dark.
Suddenly, everybody heard a Kiss sound followed by a loud slapping sound.
Every body remained silent, when the train came out of the tunnel.
Grand ma thought that,” The Guy is a rogue; how dare he is? He has kissed my grand daughter! But my Grand daughter is genuine; she immediately slapped that guy.”
That girl thought that,” I feel happy, when that guy kissed me, but I feel sorry that my grand ma has slapped him”.
PM thought that,” I can’t believe that this guy has kissed that girl! But it is unfair that she slapped me by mistake”
Finally, the engineer thought?
“This one minute in my life is wonderful, it hardly comes…because, at a time I have kissed a girl and also I have slapped my PM.”
Enjoy every moment !!!!!
How to make a woman happy?
It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:
1. A friend
2. A companion
3. A lover
4. A brother
5. A father
6. A master
7. A chef
8. An electrician
9. A carpenter
10. A plumber
11. A mechanic
12. A decorator
13. A stylist
14. A sexologist
15. A gynecologist
16. A psychologist
17. A pest exterminator
18. A psychiatrist
19. A healer
20. A good listener
21. An organizer
22. A good father
23. Very clean
24. Sympathetic
25. Athletic
26. Warm
27. Attentive
28. Gallant
29. Intelligent
30. Funny
31. Creative
32. Tender
33. Strong
34. Understanding
35. Tolerant
36. Prudent
37. Ambitious
38. Capable
39. Courageous
40. Determined
41. True
42. Dependable
43. Passionate
44. Compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. Give her compliments regularly
46. Love shopping
47. Be honest
48. Be very rich
49. Not stress her out
50. Not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Leave him alone
1. A friend
2. A companion
3. A lover
4. A brother
5. A father
6. A master
7. A chef
8. An electrician
9. A carpenter
10. A plumber
11. A mechanic
12. A decorator
13. A stylist
14. A sexologist
15. A gynecologist
16. A psychologist
17. A pest exterminator
18. A psychiatrist
19. A healer
20. A good listener
21. An organizer
22. A good father
23. Very clean
24. Sympathetic
25. Athletic
26. Warm
27. Attentive
28. Gallant
29. Intelligent
30. Funny
31. Creative
32. Tender
33. Strong
34. Understanding
35. Tolerant
36. Prudent
37. Ambitious
38. Capable
39. Courageous
40. Determined
41. True
42. Dependable
43. Passionate
44. Compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. Give her compliments regularly
46. Love shopping
47. Be honest
48. Be very rich
49. Not stress her out
50. Not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Leave him alone
Indecent exposure
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
She says, "Why, officer?"
"Because your breast is hanging out."
She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!"
She says, "Why, officer?"
"Because your breast is hanging out."
She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!"
I'll be OK
A husband and wife were in the bathroom getting ready for work when the husband looked at his wife and said, "I gotta have you!"
He backed her up against the bathroom door, pulled down her panties and ravaged her. He knew he was doing great because she screamed and wiggled more than she ever had before.
When he finished, he started putting his clothes back on and when he noticed his wife still writhing against the door he said, "That was the best, honey. You've never moved like that before, you didn't hurt yourself did you?"
His wife said, "No, no. I'll be OK once I can get the doorknob out of my ass."
He backed her up against the bathroom door, pulled down her panties and ravaged her. He knew he was doing great because she screamed and wiggled more than she ever had before.
When he finished, he started putting his clothes back on and when he noticed his wife still writhing against the door he said, "That was the best, honey. You've never moved like that before, you didn't hurt yourself did you?"
His wife said, "No, no. I'll be OK once I can get the doorknob out of my ass."
The Hypnotist
Woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those Headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone."
"No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?"
His wife replies, Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me To Stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat
"I do not Have a Headache; I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache.."
It Worked! The headaches are all gone."
The husband replies, "Well, that is wonderful."
His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball Of Fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the Hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?"
The husband agrees to try it
Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his Clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom.
He Puts her on The bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." He goes into The Bathroom and comes back. A few minutes later and jumps into bed And makes Passionate love to his wife like never before.
His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!"
The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back." He goes Back Into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than The First time. The wife sits up and her head is spinning.
Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." With That, He goes back in the bathroom.
This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the Bathroom,
She sees him standing at the mirror and saying,
"She's not my Wife.
She's Not my wife.
She's not my wife..."
"No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?"
His wife replies, Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me To Stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat
"I do not Have a Headache; I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache.."
It Worked! The headaches are all gone."
The husband replies, "Well, that is wonderful."
His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball Of Fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the Hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?"
The husband agrees to try it
Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his Clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom.
He Puts her on The bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." He goes into The Bathroom and comes back. A few minutes later and jumps into bed And makes Passionate love to his wife like never before.
His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!"
The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back." He goes Back Into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than The First time. The wife sits up and her head is spinning.
Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." With That, He goes back in the bathroom.
This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the Bathroom,
She sees him standing at the mirror and saying,
"She's not my Wife.
She's Not my wife.
She's not my wife..."
Bargaining
A guy stops to talk to a beautiful woman standing alone by a bus stop.
"Hello, I must say, you are about the most beautiful woman I have ever met."
"Thank you very much, replied the woman."
The guy quickly follows up, "I was wondering if you'd sleep with me for a million dollars?"
"A million dollars!" the girl responds. She slowly looks him up and down and then thinks for a moment and answers, "Yes, I would sleep with you for a million dollars."
"How about five bucks? " responds the guy.
"Five Bucks!, What kind of woman do you think I am?"
"We've already determined that," he replies. "Now we're just haggling over money.
"Hello, I must say, you are about the most beautiful woman I have ever met."
"Thank you very much, replied the woman."
The guy quickly follows up, "I was wondering if you'd sleep with me for a million dollars?"
"A million dollars!" the girl responds. She slowly looks him up and down and then thinks for a moment and answers, "Yes, I would sleep with you for a million dollars."
"How about five bucks? " responds the guy.
"Five Bucks!, What kind of woman do you think I am?"
"We've already determined that," he replies. "Now we're just haggling over money.
Why why why?
Why is it when your wife becomes pregnant, all her female friends rub her tummy and say “congratulations.”
But none of them rub your dick and say “well done”
But none of them rub your dick and say “well done”
My husband's having a heart attack
A blonde gets home from work early & hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.
She rushes upstairs only to find her husband naked lying on the bed, sweating and panting.
'What's up?' she asks.
'I think I'm having a heart attack,' - cries the husband..
The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she's dialing, her four-year-old son comes up
And says , "Mommy Mommy Aunty Shirley is hiding in the wardrobe & she has no clothes on"
The blonde slams the phone down and storms back upstairs into the bedroom right past her husband..
Rips open the wardrobe door and sure enough, there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the floor.
'You rotten Bitch', she screams.
'My husband's having a heart attack, and you're running around naked playing hide and seek with the kids!!'
She rushes upstairs only to find her husband naked lying on the bed, sweating and panting.
'What's up?' she asks.
'I think I'm having a heart attack,' - cries the husband..
The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she's dialing, her four-year-old son comes up
And says , "Mommy Mommy Aunty Shirley is hiding in the wardrobe & she has no clothes on"
The blonde slams the phone down and storms back upstairs into the bedroom right past her husband..
Rips open the wardrobe door and sure enough, there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the floor.
'You rotten Bitch', she screams.
'My husband's having a heart attack, and you're running around naked playing hide and seek with the kids!!'
And what would you like?
A man was shopping in the men's department at Bloomingdale' s when he noticed an absolutely beautiful woman behind the sales counter. He went up to her and said, "Good morning, madam."
She smiled pleasantly and asked "And what would you like?"
The man said, "I'd like to wrap my arms around you and squeeze you tight. Then run my hand up and down your bottom and squeeze that. Then run my hands along your inner thighs, up underneath your dress. When I get to your sweet womanhood, I'd like to rub that while simultaneously unbuttoning your blouse with my teeth and then suck on your beautiful breasts and bite your nipples lightly . . . .
But What I need is a new tie!"
She smiled pleasantly and asked "And what would you like?"
The man said, "I'd like to wrap my arms around you and squeeze you tight. Then run my hand up and down your bottom and squeeze that. Then run my hands along your inner thighs, up underneath your dress. When I get to your sweet womanhood, I'd like to rub that while simultaneously unbuttoning your blouse with my teeth and then suck on your beautiful breasts and bite your nipples lightly . . . .
But What I need is a new tie!"
$600 rebate
Dr. Marc Faber concluded his monthly bulletin (June 2010) with the following:
''The federal government is sending each of us a $600 rebate.
If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money goes to China.
If we spend it on gasoline it goes to the Arabs.
If we buy a computer it will go to India.
If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala.
If we purchase a good car it will go to Germany.
If we purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan and none of it will help the American economy.
The only way to keep that money here at home is to spend it on prostitutes and beer, since these are the only products still produced in US. I've been doing my part.''
''The federal government is sending each of us a $600 rebate.
If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money goes to China.
If we spend it on gasoline it goes to the Arabs.
If we buy a computer it will go to India.
If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala.
If we purchase a good car it will go to Germany.
If we purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan and none of it will help the American economy.
The only way to keep that money here at home is to spend it on prostitutes and beer, since these are the only products still produced in US. I've been doing my part.''
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)