A husband was visiting his wife in hospital where she has been in a coma for several years. On this visit, he decided to rub her left breast instead of just talking to her. On doing this, she let out a sigh.
The husband ran out and told the doctor what happened. The doctor said this was a good sign, and suggested the husband try rubbing her right breast to see if there is any reaction.
The husband went in and rubbed her right breast, which brought a moan. After hearing this, the doctor suggested that the husband should go in and try oral sex, saying he will wait outside as it is a personal act and he doesn't want the husband to be embarrassed.
The husband went in, then came out about five minutes later, white as a ghost. He told the doctor his wife was dead.
The doctor asked what happened, to which the husband replied,
"I reckon she choked to death!"
Wonderful time on Fishing Trip
A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband's best friend. They make love for hours, and afterwards, while they're just laying there, the phone rings.
Since it is the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. Her lover looks over at her and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation...
(She is speaking in a cheery voice)
"Hello? Oh, hi. I'm so glad that you called. Really? That's wonderful. I am so happy for you. That sounds terrific. Great! Thanks. Okay. Bye bye." She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?"
"Oh" she replies, "that was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."
Since it is the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. Her lover looks over at her and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation...
(She is speaking in a cheery voice)
"Hello? Oh, hi. I'm so glad that you called. Really? That's wonderful. I am so happy for you. That sounds terrific. Great! Thanks. Okay. Bye bye." She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?"
"Oh" she replies, "that was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."
Another man like me
Husband says:
"When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me".
Wife replied:
"What makes you think I'd want another man like you!"
"When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me".
Wife replied:
"What makes you think I'd want another man like you!"
Resources Manager at the Pearly Gates
Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.
"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," said the woman.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman "Sorry, we have rules..."
And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.
The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner.
She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.
The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her.
"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her.
"So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity,"
The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."
So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell.
When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.
The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.
"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."
The Devil looked at her smiled and told...
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"Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're an Employee"
"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," said the woman.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman "Sorry, we have rules..."
And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.
The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner.
She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.
The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her.
"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her.
"So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity,"
The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."
So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell.
When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.
The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.
"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."
The Devil looked at her smiled and told...
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"Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're an Employee"
What is my age?
Teacher: There is a frog, Ship is sinking, potatoes cost Rs 3/kg. Then, what is my age?
STUDENT:32 yrs.
Teacher:How do you know?
STUDENT:Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.
STUDENT:32 yrs.
Teacher:How do you know?
STUDENT:Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.
Kids in school think quick
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD : A teacher.
HAROLD : A teacher.
Sex problem
A man goes to a Psychologist and says, "Doc I got a real problem, I can't stop thinking about sex."
The Psychologist says, "Well let's see what we can find out", and pulls out his ink blots. "What is this a picture of?" he asks.
The man turns the picture upside down then turns it around and states, "That's a man and a woman on a bed making love."
The Psychologist says, "very interesting," and shows the next picture. "And what is this a picture of?"
The man looks and turns it in different directions and says, "That's a man and a woman on a bed making love."
The Psychologists tries again with the third ink blot, and asks the same question, "What is this a picture of?"
The patient again turns it in all directions and replies, "That's a man and a woman on a bed making love."
The Psychologist states, "Well, yes, you do seem to be obsessed with sex."
"Me!?" demands the patient. "You're the one who keeps showing me the dirty pictures!"
The Psychologist says, "Well let's see what we can find out", and pulls out his ink blots. "What is this a picture of?" he asks.
The man turns the picture upside down then turns it around and states, "That's a man and a woman on a bed making love."
The Psychologist says, "very interesting," and shows the next picture. "And what is this a picture of?"
The man looks and turns it in different directions and says, "That's a man and a woman on a bed making love."
The Psychologists tries again with the third ink blot, and asks the same question, "What is this a picture of?"
The patient again turns it in all directions and replies, "That's a man and a woman on a bed making love."
The Psychologist states, "Well, yes, you do seem to be obsessed with sex."
"Me!?" demands the patient. "You're the one who keeps showing me the dirty pictures!"
God will save me
There was an old man sitting on his porch watching the rain fall. Pretty soon the water was coming over the porch and into the house.
The old man was still sitting there when a rescue boat came and the people on board said, "You can't stay here you have to come with us."
The old man replied, "No, God will save me." So the boat left. A little while later the water was up to the second floor, and another rescue boat came, and again told the old man he had to come with them.
The old man again replied, "God will save me." So the boat left him again.
An hour later the water was up to the roof and a third rescue boat approached the old man, and tried to get him to come with them.
Again the old man refused to leave stating that, "God will grant a miracle & save him." So the boat left him again.
Soon after, the man drowns and goes to heaven, and when he sees God he asks him, "Why didn't you save me? I thought you would grand me a miracle and you have let me down."
God replied, "You idiot, I don't know what you're complaining about. I sent three boats after you!!"
The old man was still sitting there when a rescue boat came and the people on board said, "You can't stay here you have to come with us."
The old man replied, "No, God will save me." So the boat left. A little while later the water was up to the second floor, and another rescue boat came, and again told the old man he had to come with them.
The old man again replied, "God will save me." So the boat left him again.
An hour later the water was up to the roof and a third rescue boat approached the old man, and tried to get him to come with them.
Again the old man refused to leave stating that, "God will grant a miracle & save him." So the boat left him again.
Soon after, the man drowns and goes to heaven, and when he sees God he asks him, "Why didn't you save me? I thought you would grand me a miracle and you have let me down."
God replied, "You idiot, I don't know what you're complaining about. I sent three boats after you!!"
Unexpected knowledge gained from the Movies
1) During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
2) All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
3) The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
4) Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
5) When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom should still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
6) Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.
7) It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts-your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
8) A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
2) All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
3) The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
4) Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
5) When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom should still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
6) Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.
7) It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts-your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
8) A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
Dentures
An old man looking for oral sex approached his wife with a horny invitation, "How would you like to wrap your teeth around my d*ck tonight?"
The old lady nodded willingly, removed her dentures and said, "Do whatever you want with them, just don't wake me."
The old lady nodded willingly, removed her dentures and said, "Do whatever you want with them, just don't wake me."
Missed it by an inch
A man walked into a Super store and the Greeter said, "Automotive, aisle 15." The man asked, "How did you know I was here to get oil?"
The Greeter replied, "That's my job."
Another man walked in and the Greeter said, "Sporting goods, aisle 28."
The man asked, "How did you know I wanted fishing supplies?
The Greeter replied, "That's my job."
A woman walked in and the Greeter said, "Tampons, aisle 5."
The woman said, "No, I'm here for hemorrhoid medicine."
The Greeter said, "Darn, I missed it by an inch!"
The Greeter replied, "That's my job."
Another man walked in and the Greeter said, "Sporting goods, aisle 28."
The man asked, "How did you know I wanted fishing supplies?
The Greeter replied, "That's my job."
A woman walked in and the Greeter said, "Tampons, aisle 5."
The woman said, "No, I'm here for hemorrhoid medicine."
The Greeter said, "Darn, I missed it by an inch!"
Finally fertile
While the bar patron savored a double martini, an attractive women sat down next to him. The bartender served her a glass of orange juice, and the man turned to her and said, "This is a special day. I'm celebrating."
"I'm celebrating, too," she replied, clinking glasses with him.
"What are you celebrating?" he asked.
"For years I've been trying to have a child," she answered, "Today my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant!"
"Congratulations," the man said, lifting his glass.
"As it happens, I'm a chicken farmer, and for years all my hens were infertile. But today they're finally fertile."
"How did it happen?"
"I switched cocks."
"What a coincidence," she said, smiling.
"I'm celebrating, too," she replied, clinking glasses with him.
"What are you celebrating?" he asked.
"For years I've been trying to have a child," she answered, "Today my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant!"
"Congratulations," the man said, lifting his glass.
"As it happens, I'm a chicken farmer, and for years all my hens were infertile. But today they're finally fertile."
"How did it happen?"
"I switched cocks."
"What a coincidence," she said, smiling.
Make me into a television
A teacher from Primary School asks her students to write a essay about what they would like God to do for them...
At the end of the day while marking the essays, she read one that made her very emotional.
Her husband, that had just walked in saw her crying and asked her: - What happened?
She answered - Read this. It's one of my students essays
Oh God, tonight I ask you something very special: Make me into a television. I want to take its place. Live like the TV in my house. Have my own special place, And have my family around ME. To be taken seriously when I talk.... I want to be the centre of attention and be heard without interruptions or questions. I want to receive the same special care that the TV receives when it is not working.
Have the company of my dad when he arrives home from work, even when he is tired.
And I want my mom to want me when she is sad and upset, instead of ignoring me...
And... I want my brothers to fight to be with me...
I want to feel that family just leaves everything aside, every now and then, just to spend some time with me.
And last but not least make it that I can make them all happy and entertain them...
Lord I don't ask you for much... I just want to live like every TV
At that moment the husband said: - 'My God, poor kid. What horrible parents!
She looked up at him and said: - 'That essay is our son's !
At the end of the day while marking the essays, she read one that made her very emotional.
Her husband, that had just walked in saw her crying and asked her: - What happened?
She answered - Read this. It's one of my students essays
Oh God, tonight I ask you something very special: Make me into a television. I want to take its place. Live like the TV in my house. Have my own special place, And have my family around ME. To be taken seriously when I talk.... I want to be the centre of attention and be heard without interruptions or questions. I want to receive the same special care that the TV receives when it is not working.
Have the company of my dad when he arrives home from work, even when he is tired.
And I want my mom to want me when she is sad and upset, instead of ignoring me...
And... I want my brothers to fight to be with me...
I want to feel that family just leaves everything aside, every now and then, just to spend some time with me.
And last but not least make it that I can make them all happy and entertain them...
Lord I don't ask you for much... I just want to live like every TV
At that moment the husband said: - 'My God, poor kid. What horrible parents!
She looked up at him and said: - 'That essay is our son's !
Going to heaven
I was testing the children in my Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven. I asked them, 'If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?'
'NO!' the children answered.
'If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?'
Again, the answer was, 'NO!'
By now I was starting to smile. Hey, this was fun!
'Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into Heaven?' I asked them again.
Again, they all answered, 'NO!'
I was just bursting with pride for them.
'Well,' I continued, 'then how can I get into Heaven?'
A five-year-old boy shouted out,
'YOU GOTTA BE DEAD.'
'NO!' the children answered.
'If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?'
Again, the answer was, 'NO!'
By now I was starting to smile. Hey, this was fun!
'Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into Heaven?' I asked them again.
Again, they all answered, 'NO!'
I was just bursting with pride for them.
'Well,' I continued, 'then how can I get into Heaven?'
A five-year-old boy shouted out,
'YOU GOTTA BE DEAD.'
Organic vegetables
A man went to buy organic vegetables from the market, because his wife had asked him to. Not finding any, he grabbed a tired looking employee at the store and said, "These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?"
The tired sales guy looked at him and said, "No. You'll have to do that yourself."
The tired sales guy looked at him and said, "No. You'll have to do that yourself."
Pancakes
Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor. With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small p***s.
After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, "Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem."
The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.
"Gee, Mom," he exclaimed. "For me?"
"Just take two," Brenda replied. "The rest are for your father."
After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, "Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem."
The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.
"Gee, Mom," he exclaimed. "For me?"
"Just take two," Brenda replied. "The rest are for your father."
Gay flight attendant
An airline's passenger cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served them food and drinks.
As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and announced to the passengers, "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, lovely people, so if you could just put up your trays that would be super."
On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed that a well-dressed rather exotic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines. I asked you to raise your trazy-poo so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."
She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess. I take orders from no one."
To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country, I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, b*tch."
As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and announced to the passengers, "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, lovely people, so if you could just put up your trays that would be super."
On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed that a well-dressed rather exotic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines. I asked you to raise your trazy-poo so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."
She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess. I take orders from no one."
To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country, I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, b*tch."
Are Women More Intelligent Than Men ?
Helen, a normal woman was married to John.
One day she found a lamp in the street and as you do she gave it a little rub.
Sure enough a genie popped out and said “I will grant you three wishes, but I must warn you that with each wish, your husband will experience 10 times worth”
Thinking about it for a few seconds she accepted the offer and said
“Make me the richest woman in the world”
The genie said “you do realise that your husband will become ten times richer than you”
“That’s OK, we have been married for 15 years, we are a couple, what is mine is his and his is mine”
Poooof: she became the richest woman in the world
“For my next wish I want you to make me the most beautiful woman in the world”
You do realise that this will make your husband the most attractive man alive, women all over the world will want him and desire him”
“That’s ok as I will be the most attractive woman he will only have eyes for me”
Pooof: she became the most beautiful woman alive
“And for your 3rd wish?” said the genie
Helen thought for a while, remembering the ten times more thing she said “I would like to experience a mild heart attack!!!”
This goes to show that women are smarter than men……very good ladies!
If you are a women please end here, if you are a man please scroll down.
Yes gentlemen her husband experienced a heart attack 10 times milder than his wife, this just goes to prove that women are not the smarter sex, but let’s not tell them……just enjoy the show.
If you are a lady reading this, be a sweetie and put the kettle on.
One day she found a lamp in the street and as you do she gave it a little rub.
Sure enough a genie popped out and said “I will grant you three wishes, but I must warn you that with each wish, your husband will experience 10 times worth”
Thinking about it for a few seconds she accepted the offer and said
“Make me the richest woman in the world”
The genie said “you do realise that your husband will become ten times richer than you”
“That’s OK, we have been married for 15 years, we are a couple, what is mine is his and his is mine”
Poooof: she became the richest woman in the world
“For my next wish I want you to make me the most beautiful woman in the world”
You do realise that this will make your husband the most attractive man alive, women all over the world will want him and desire him”
“That’s ok as I will be the most attractive woman he will only have eyes for me”
Pooof: she became the most beautiful woman alive
“And for your 3rd wish?” said the genie
Helen thought for a while, remembering the ten times more thing she said “I would like to experience a mild heart attack!!!”
This goes to show that women are smarter than men……very good ladies!
If you are a women please end here, if you are a man please scroll down.
Yes gentlemen her husband experienced a heart attack 10 times milder than his wife, this just goes to prove that women are not the smarter sex, but let’s not tell them……just enjoy the show.
If you are a lady reading this, be a sweetie and put the kettle on.
New Chairman for Microsoft Europe
Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe.
5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Arun Doshi an Indian (Gujrati) guy.
Bill Gates thanked all the candidates for coming and asking those who do not know JAVA program to leave.2000 people leave the room.
Arun says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try'
Bill Gates asked the candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people to leave. 2000 people leave the room.
Arun says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?' So he stays.
Then Bill Gates asked candidates who do not have management diplomas to leave.
500 people leave the room. Arun says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?'
So he stays in the room.
Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo-Croat to leave. 498 people leave the room.
Arun says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of Serbo-Croat but what do I have to lose?' So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate.
Everyone else has gone.
Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo-Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.'
Calmly, Arun turns to the other candidate and says `kem chhho'
The other candidate answers 'ek dam majama'
5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Arun Doshi an Indian (Gujrati) guy.
Bill Gates thanked all the candidates for coming and asking those who do not know JAVA program to leave.2000 people leave the room.
Arun says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try'
Bill Gates asked the candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people to leave. 2000 people leave the room.
Arun says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?' So he stays.
Then Bill Gates asked candidates who do not have management diplomas to leave.
500 people leave the room. Arun says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?'
So he stays in the room.
Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo-Croat to leave. 498 people leave the room.
Arun says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of Serbo-Croat but what do I have to lose?' So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate.
Everyone else has gone.
Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo-Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.'
Calmly, Arun turns to the other candidate and says `kem chhho'
The other candidate answers 'ek dam majama'
Good Place to Masturbate
The doc told him that masturba*ting before sex often helped men last longer the act.
The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it," He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it.
He couldn't do it in his office.
He thought about the restroom, but that was too open.
He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe.
Finally, he realized his solution.
On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway.
He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck.
Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate.
He closed his eyes and thought of his lover.
As he grew closer to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants.
Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied,
"What?"He heard, "This is the police. What's going on down there?"
The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted. "Came the reply,
"Well, you might as well check your brakes too while you're down there, because your truck rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago"
The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it," He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it.
He couldn't do it in his office.
He thought about the restroom, but that was too open.
He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe.
Finally, he realized his solution.
On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway.
He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck.
Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate.
He closed his eyes and thought of his lover.
As he grew closer to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants.
Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied,
"What?"He heard, "This is the police. What's going on down there?"
The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted. "Came the reply,
"Well, you might as well check your brakes too while you're down there, because your truck rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago"
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